Robot Santa: “Your mistletoe is no match for my TOW missile!”

He knows when your are sleeping,
He knows when you’re on the can,
He’ll hunt you down and blast your ass from here to Pakistan.
Ohh,
You better not breathe, you better not move,
You’re better off dead, I’m telling you, dude.
Santa Claus is gunning you down!

Winter Solstice – Newgrange Ireland

http://www.knowth.com/winter-solstice.htm


Chapter 24
(Barrett)

A movement is accomplished in six stages
And the seventh brings return.
The seven is the number of the young light
It forms when darkness is increased by one.
Change returns success
Going and coming without error.
Action brings good fortune.
Sunset.

The time is with the month of winter solstice
When the change is due to come.
Thunder in the other course of heaven.
Things cannot be destroyed once and for all.
Change returns success
Going and coming without error.
Action brings good fortune.
Sunset, sunrise.

Xinhua – English

http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2006-12/13/content_5479583.htm



Mei Lanfang in “Farewell my Concubine”

“A souvenir stamp and coin collection of Peking Opera star Mei Lanfang on stage will be released on December 20, the biggest event to commemorate his memory.

The collection is composed of 11 gold and silver coins, 64 stamps and eight exquisite telephone cards. They will feature ten pictures of the star before his death. Two of the pictures have never been seen by the public before.

The pictures show Mei Lanfang in classic Peking Opera poses. Together, they represent some of the milestone moments in the history of the opera.

The ten photos will be used exclusively in the special collection. “

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us


Now taking bookings.

Only 6d for the stalls and 1/- for the circle.

Buy a programme and you get the chance to win a slap up tea at Mrs Miggins Pie shop.

Contact Cloggy:
http://clogiron.stumbleupon.com/
for more details.

http://canhistory.blogspot.com/



“The Americans are coming!”

Laura Secord (1775 – 1868) was a Canadian heroine of the War of 1812.

“She was a pioneer and a mother of five whose husband had been wounded and left for dead during the Battle of Queenston Heights. Laura had gone to the battlefield, found him, and taken him home. She was nursing her husband back to health when the Americans arrived and took command of the Secord homestead.

Laura overheard the officers discussing their plans for a surprise attack at Beaver Dams, and the following morning she set off on an epic 32-kilometre trek across the war zone to warn the British. When she finally climbed the Niagara Escarpment, her feet were bleeding and night had fallen. Mohawk sentries took her to see Lieutenant James FitzGibbon. Tipped off by Laura Secord, FitzGibbon set up an ambush at Beaver Dams (now Thorold, Ontario) on June 24, 1813. The Mohawk war cries frightened the Americans into surrender, and FitzGibbon and his men took almost 500 Americans prisoner, including the commander. “Not a shot was fired on our side by any but the Indians,” wrote FitzGibbon, approvingly. “They beat the American attachment into a state of terror.” At Stoney Creek, two weeks earlier, the American invasion had been stopped.

At Beaver Dams it was turned back.”

Many thanks to:
http://lgsquirrel.stumbleupon.com/
for finding this site.

COMPLETE COLLECTION OF POEMS BY RUDYARD KIPLING

http://www.poetryloverspage.com/poets/kipling/kipling_ind.html



Tommy

By Rudyard Kipling

I went into a public-‘ouse to get a pint o’ beer,
The publican ‘e up an’ sez, “We serve no red-coats here.”
The girls be’ind the bar they laughed an’ giggled fit to die,
I outs into the street again an’ to myself sez I:
O it’s Tommy this, an’ Tommy that, an’ “Tommy, go away”;
But it’s “Thank you, Mister Atkins”, when the band begins to play,
The band begins to play, my boys, the band begins to play,
O it’s “Thank you, Mister Atkins”, when the band begins to play.

I went into a theatre as sober as could be,
They gave a drunk civilian room, but ‘adn’t none for me;
They sent me to the gallery or round the music-‘alls,
But when it comes to fightin’, Lord! they’ll shove me in the stalls!
For it’s Tommy this, an’ Tommy that, an’ “Tommy, wait outside”;
But it’s “Special train for Atkins” when the trooper’s on the tide,
The troopship’s on the tide, my boys, the troopship’s on the tide,
O it’s “Special train for Atkins” when the trooper’s on the tide.

Yes, makin’ mock o’ uniforms that guard you while you sleep
Is cheaper than them uniforms, an’ they’re starvation cheap;
An’ hustlin’ drunken soldiers when they’re goin’ large a bit
Is five times better business than paradin’ in full kit.
Then it’s Tommy this, an’ Tommy that, an’ “Tommy, ‘ow’s yer soul?”
But it’s “Thin red line of ‘eroes” when the drums begin to roll,
The drums begin to roll, my boys, the drums begin to roll,
O it’s “Thin red line of ‘eroes” when the drums begin to roll.

We aren’t no thin red ‘eroes, nor we aren’t no blackguards too,
But single men in barricks, most remarkable like you;
An’ if sometimes our conduck isn’t all your fancy paints,
Why, single men in barricks don’t grow into plaster saints;
While it’s Tommy this, an’ Tommy that, an’ “Tommy, fall be’ind”,
But it’s “Please to walk in front, sir”, when there’s trouble in the wind,
There’s trouble in the wind, my boys, there’s trouble in the wind,
O it’s “Please to walk in front, sir”, when there’s trouble in the wind.

You talk o’ better food for us, an’ schools, an’ fires, an’ all:
We’ll wait for extry rations if you treat us rational.
Don’t mess about the cook-room slops, but prove it to our face
The Widow’s Uniform is not the soldier-man’s disgrace.
For it’s Tommy this, an’ Tommy that, an’ “Chuck him out, the brute!”
But it’s “Saviour of ‘is country” when the guns begin to shoot;
An’ it’s Tommy this, an’ Tommy that, an’ anything you please;
An’ Tommy ain’t a bloomin’ fool — you bet that Tommy sees!

see also:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/opinion/main.jhtml;jsessionid=2STDV05HUU1ONQFIQMFCFF4AVCBQYIV0?xml=/opinion/2006/12/09/do0901.xml



Members of the winning Royston Vasey ‘Welly Wanging’ Team proudly displaying the Compo Simmonite Memorial Trophy at the National Championships held recently in Banbury, Oxfordshire.

Monologues at Make Em Laugh!

http://www.monologues.co.uk/








THE BALLAD OF THE WOGGLER’S MOOLY*
(Kenneth Williams)

Joe, he was a young cordwangler,
Munging greebles he did go,
And he loved a bogler’s daughter
By the name of Chiswick Flo.

Vain she was and like a grusset
Though her gander parts were fine,
But she sneered at his cordwangle
As it hung upon the line.

So he stole a woggler’s mooly
For to make a wedding ring,
But the Bow Street Runners caught him
And the judge said “He will swing.”

Oh, they hung him by the postern,
Nailed his mooly to the fence
For to warn all young cordwanglers
That it was a grave offence.

There’s a moral to this story,
Though your cordwangle be poor,
Keep your hands off other’s moolies,
For it is against the law.

*A mooly is a sort of smoked cuttlefish of the whelk family, or a brother-in-law you might say.

Nowadays you can get them frozen and pre-woggled, but they don’t taste the same.



Hear All, See All, Say Nowt
Recorded by Sandy Powell 1939

Hear all, see all, say nowt,
Eat all, drink all, pay nowt.
It’s a long time remember
from January to December
So hear all, see all, say nowt,
Eat all, sup all, pay nowt
And if ever thy does owt fer nowt
Always do it fer th’sen.

When I was a right young lad
Me father said t’me
Seems to me thy’s growin’ up
Now what’s thy goin’ t’be?
It all depends upon th’self
It’s only up to thee
I won’t say much to you again
But take this tip from me…

Hear all, see all, say nowt,
Eat all, drink all, pay nowt.
It’s a long time remember
from January to December
So hear all, see all, say nowt,
Eat all, sup all, pay nowt
And if ever thy does owt fer nowt
Always do it fer th’sen.

Save thy pennies while thy can
And just do what I say,
If thy doesn’t keep thy ‘ead
Tha’ll ‘ave some brass one day.
It all depends upon th’self
It’s only up to thee
But there’s one thing thy can reckon on
Thy won’t get owt from me.



Chinese Public Health Posters Home

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/hmd/chineseposters/index.html


The ear is like a telephone and the eye is like a camera.1933.

“This online exhibition was created from Dr. Liping Bu’s presentation, titled “Public Health and Chinese Society from 1930s to SARS,” at Seminar in the History of Medicine, National Library of Medicine, August 15, 2006. Dr. Bu is professor of history at Alma College and is working on a book about Public Health and Modernization of China.”

Click here:
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/hmd/chineseposters/images/1200/DSC_4004.jpg
for a larger image.

We should do more and engage less in empty talk – 1992

http://www.iisg.nl/exhibitions/chairman/chn76.php


We should do more and engage less in empty talk – Deng Xiaoping

This pronouncement is illustrated with a photograph of a modern cityscape. Note the cars pasted in: not all of them follow the direction of traffic.

Deng, born in 1904, joined the Communist Party in 1924 and held high offices until he was expelled at the start of the Cultural Revolution. In 1973 he made a comeback, only to be expelled again in 1976.

In 1977 Deng returned for the second time and became the most important man in the Party after the brief interlude of Hua Guofeng.

He died in February 1997.

Uncle Nolli’s Astro-Tarot-Feng Shui Horoscopes

This week:


22 June-22 July
With Jupiter, the sign of green vegetables moving into Aries, you could find fulfilment this week in an organically grown courgette roasted lightly at Gas Mark 6 for 10 minutes on a revolving toasting fork with some Patum Peperium.

But you should avoid contact with haddock. Don’t ask me why;
I’m just doing my job.

Lucky cheese: Lymeswold

P.S. Don’t forget the Chianti, or failing that some nice moderately priced non-vintage domestic champagne.

Huozhe | To Live

http://www.celtoslavica.de/chiaroscuro/films/huozhe/huozhe.html

Huozhe 活 着

(to Live aka Lifetimes | Leben! | Vivre!)
a film by by Zhang Yimou
China 1994

“Director Zhang Yimou is well known for his expressive film-making, combining a sure touch for human affairs with events on an epic scale, but Huozhe is special. In a superficial way Fugui and Jiazhen are purely struggling to exist (hence the title), while of deeper interest are the sacrifices and compromises necessary. At all times their situation is precarious (mostly through the threat of being denounced as enemies of the Revolution) but they pull through, either alone or together, by dint of their will and determination. Added complexity arises through the fact that many critical turns are taken by chance, only revealing their consequences subsequently (such as Fugui’s gambling loss). The moments of realisation which follow these junctures form some of Huozhe’s strongest scenes. A script of such power demands actors of range and depth, which both Gong Li and Ge You are. Their total immersion into character is utterly convincing, bringing forth joy, laughter, understanding, humility and unbearable agony.

…covering some forty years of history (moving from the rigid class hierarchy of 1940s China through the civil war and Cultural Revolution) through close focus on the experiences of one small family. The travails of Fugui, his wife Jiazhen (Gong Li), their daughter and son, are harsh and even tragic, but the film remains densely ironic, such that horrific events become increasingly absurd, often framed as a kind of awkward comedy. “

http://web.westernfrontassociation.com/


Adlestrop
by Philip Edward Thomas 1878-1917

Yes. I remember Adlestrop —
The name, because one afternoon
Of heat the express-train drew up there
Unwontedly. It was late June.
The steam hissed. Someone cleared his throat,
No one left and no one came
On the bare platform. What I saw
Was Adlestrop — only the name

And willows, willowherb, and grass,
And meadowsweet, and haycocks dry,
No whit less still and lonely fair
Than the high cloudlets in the sky.

And for that minute a blackbird sang
Close by, and round him, mistier,
Farther and farther, all the birds
Of Oxfordshire and Gloucestershire.

Christ guerrilla – Alfredo Rostgaard – 1969

http://www.iisg.nl/exhibitions/chairman/cub19.php


Alfredo Rostgaard, 1969
Christ guerrilla

Publisher: OSPAAAL

From the page:
“This poster illustrates a quotation of the Columbian priest Camilo Torres:

If Jesus were alive today, he would be a guerrillero.

Torres, one of the most forceful spokesmen of the so-called liberation theology, joins the armed struggle and gets killed in 1969.”

http://www.flickr.com/photos/streetpreacher/73990039/

The Leeds side-streets that you slip down

Panic on the streets of London,
Panic on the streets of Birmingham,
I wonder to myself

Could life ever be sane again ?

The Leeds side-streets that you slip down,
I wonder to myself.

Hopes may rise on the Grasmere,
But Honey Pie, you’re not safe here,
So you run down,
To the safety of the town,

But there’s Panic on the streets of Carlisle,
Dublin, Dundee, Humberside,

I wonder to myself…

http://english.people.com.cn/200611/10/eng20061110_320411.html